Mexican Jack Squint presents possibly the least evolved set of wargame rules ever. By which I mean "Since the glaciers retreated."
Movement? All based on the size of your hand.
Missiles? Throw a wadded up paper ball at your opponent across the table. If he's supposed to be in cover, he holds up a chair.
Melee? Three rounds of "Rock, paper, scissors'. Or – more historically... [click here for more]